The Universal Doctrine

Fundamental policy.

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It is hard work to make a living as an ape

October 2006 - Oslo.

The working ape

One of the simplest jobs on the planet that requires virtually no skill beyond the skill set given to an ape by mother nature would be to be a door man at a club. The job consists of checking peoples id to see if they are underage, it consists of bouncing people if trouble starts, it consists of not letting people in that are too drunk.

The mindset of an ape is of course very limited. There is no inner monologue going on.

How to fail the simplest of jobs

Since the intellectual capacities in people that have these jobs are so limited they often try to fake their way through the job.

Determining if people are too drunk is very complicated if you have a peanut for a brain. It is easy to fake these skills by choosing people at random and telling them that they are too drunk.

The business concepts for a successful club

1. You should get an ape that is as cheap as possible. An ape is an ape, there is now difference in the quality of the service provided.
2. The ape must be given clear instructions that if he is going to turn away customers they should be the poor, ugly and badly dressed ones. It is bad for business to turn away customers.
3. People should actually be allowed to drink till they are passed way drunk, since selling drinks is how the business earns money.

In conclusion: Club owners must get control over the apes so they do not ruin the business. They should also instruct the ape not to do so much: just let people in, otherwise stand still.

About

Author: Jarle Brandt. Copyright. Research style and method.
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